Droning Africans

This story has been updated to reflect the spelling of “al-Shabaab” with four As.

America “Averts Imminent Threat” By Wiping Out 150 Somalians

“We haven’t found any civilian casualties yet,” said Pentagon spokesman Peter Cook. “Fingers crossed.”

According to the Washington Post, the free world’s largest peace-keeping machine used a combination of aerial and non-aerial killing tactics to destroy approximately 150 terrorists-in-training Saturday in Somalia. The preemptive attack on the al-Shabaab training camp was “the deadliest in a decade” against that particular faction of Somalians, defense officials report.

“The good thing about this kind of drone-led assault,” Defense spokesman Peter Cook emphasized at a press conference yesterday, “is you don’t even need a warrant. Or a declaration of war.”

The Raso camp assault came in response to an al-Shabaab-claimed, failed suicide bomber on an Emirati airplane in February. The plane made an emergency landing in Mogadishu. Only the bomber was killed.

“The killing—excuse me, the removal of these fighters degrades al-Shabaab’s ability to meet the group’s objectives in Somalia, including recruiting new members, establishing bases, and planning attacks on U.S. and AMISOM forces,” Cook continued, per the Post. “We don’t like to use the words ‘kill’ or ‘destroy.’”

AMISOM refers to the African Union troops, who America has decided are the ones we’ll “try not to bomb.”

Al-Shabaab (“the youth”) is an al-Quaeda ally. Al-Qaeda is another terrorist group, a mortal enemy of ISIS, whom the U.S. is also actively “degrading.”

Al-Shabaab was actively pursued by ISIS for a pledge of allegiance to ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi via a propaganda campaign last year.

Under President Obama, America has executed performed 12 drone strikes to further “U.S. operations in Somalia,” also according to the Post. Until last weekend, raids and drone strikes by America had eliminated 150 potential terrorists. With this most recent body count, that number appears to have doubled. The Somalia operations reflect Obama’s agenda to “contain al-Shabaab’s growth.”

September 2014 airstrikes killed an al-Shabaab founder, Ahmed Abdi Godane, according to the Pentagon. But with all these expensive killing machines at our disposal, why stop?

Thanks to our source: